J.O.B.

I finally found a J>O>B>...
After searching for 3 weeks... It's not exactly what I wanted BUT i was getting desperate and I will not complain! I start next week back at my old job. The daycare... I am a teacher's asst, and get to wipe dirty asses all day...
The problem I have is...I was not promised an everyday shift so i wont be making a lot at first, but I am optimistic that it will get better...
Another small detail is some of the women there are quite boring and stereotypically white! lol The most interesting convos are about tanning, boyfriends, and purses...I am scared i will either dumb down or just not converse (which will eventually dumb me down bc i will be spending most of my time there and wont be using my communication skills).
You know what i just came up with an idea~
How about I try to provoke thought at this place! maybe change some views about life?! I think they are stuck in this world where you work go home sleep and repeat...I think there is a purpose for getting my job back! The universe has a plan for me ;)
keep you posted!

Physical....

My physical is tomorrow! I am sure everything will go well bc i chose not to do any drugs this weekend...which was strong of me! This weekend kicks off summer and i brought it in free of drugs! yay me...
I did drink (horribly)...now i am sick laying in my bed writing in a blog...:/ go figure

May 25th...

A day of surprise! A day that was half planned!
I had an appointment for an Echogram today... It was scheduled for Clara Maass hospital...I took my walk to the train which left me at Branch Brook Park, and walked the rest...
I went into Non-Invasive and was told to take my top off and bra...Then laid on my side and had pictures taken of my <3 ....BTW...that shit hurt, she was putting that little ball thing all in my chest!
anyhow! I decided while i was in Belleville i should go over to my old job and say hi to the ladies...so i went...
I saw Tara first (such a lovely  spirit to me)...Johanne second...Christina third...Then Monica...Jackie...Maria...Tainna....Nicole....Lauren...Beverly...Melissa...all the kids i used to know..then headed for the BIG LADIES OFFICE...I stopped bc i was scared of what she might say...I mean i wasn't planning on going in and asking for my old job back BUT i should bc I haven't found one yet and it has been 3 weeks!
So long story comes down to....
I left Janette a message saying I was done with school and had the summer free and i wanted toknow if they might need some help!
She calls me back ....says they would LOVE to have me back...Physical will be schedule next weds...and Orientation will be JUne 6th and 7th!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
The day ended with me succeeding in my goal...
Thank you MAY 25th!

A whole month...

On our last chat about a month ago...I shared a small vision with you about CIGS! 

This visit will be many memories that have occurred in the past month... I will tell you about my downs...my ups...my hallucinations....my eating habits...my new way of thinking...

I will share it all...