Chris and Kayla

My heart and soul...

My Moon and Sun...

My Bevis and Butthead..

These two children are the biggest pains in my life but they are my first hope for the future. I have been thinking a lot about them lately and it pains me to say i have not really been a great aunt. I haven't tried hard enough to show them the life i want them to know. They live in a house full of NUTS! 
Here is the run down...


I live in a house with my sister and my niece in the basement apartment... My grandmother, grandfather, 46 year old uncle on the first floor... My mom, stepfather, little brother, nephew, and i am going to say my older brother ::that confusing story will come later in another paragraph::
Now my mother has custody over my nephew (which is my older brothers son). My 34 yr old brother is a pot head/alcoholic that plays video games ALLL day.. My niece's father is in jail for many charges, my little brother is a dealer, and my other family members are just.... Not all there... (my grandma is not apart of this bashing! she cooks for everyone and is getting old and doesn't do too much but i love her!!!)
I like to think that we just have a retard gene ::yes i made that up and i am not excluding myself:: that blocks our thinking passages! The only exception for me is... i figured it out and came to terms with it, in which case i am trying to fix it before it becomes super permanent!!!!
Sounds crazy and funny but i think this is a serious problem, and the more we are around one another the  more ignorant we get about our deficiency! lol
I at least try to stay in school and read and take the tough road so that my brain cells have the chance to work hard and develop! My family can care less for their vocabulary and mathematics and knowledge of the world around them... And honestly they are not my business anymore...
BUT CHRIS AND KAYLA are....
We had a choice but they don't really have a choice... their little sponge brains are taking in every detail of this FUCKED up life! I just hate it! But i am just as Fucked up bc i don't take action.. and most of it is bc i want to have my life straight before i do but it doesn't seem to be appending quite as fast as i thought! so this year i will make a resolution to try just a little bit harder when it come to my niece and nephew and i will update you on my progress...
Thanks for letting me vent!
xoxo JuJu

I LOVE YOU CHRIS AND KAYLA <3